🏴‍☠️ Certified BS-Free Zone

🚫 The Anti-Portfolio

Welcome to the only developer portfolio that's allergic to bullshit. No "revolutionary paradigm shifts" here - just honest tech that actually works.
Prepare for uncomfortable truths about our industry.

"I don't build 'AI-powered blockchain solutions that disrupt paradigms.' I build software that solves actual problems for real humans."
— Kurt Overmier, Professional BS Translator

🎯 Why Your AI Strategy Sucks

Take this brutally honest diagnostic to discover how much of your "AI strategy" is actually strategy vs. expensive wishful thinking.

Question 1 of 10
How did your company decide to "leverage AI"?

⚰️ The Hype Graveyard

In memory of all the "revolutionary" technologies that were going to change everything. RIP to these overhyped dreams.

RIP
2021-2022
NFT Everything
"Digital ownership revolution"
Reality: Expensive JPEGs for money laundering
💡 Lesson: Artificial scarcity ≠ real value
RIP
2017-2018
Blockchain Everything
"Decentralized revolution"
Reality: Slow, expensive databases
💡 Lesson: Most problems don't need immutable ledgers
RIP
2020-2023
No-Code Revolution
"Everyone becomes a developer"
Reality: Still need developers to fix the mess
💡 Lesson: Abstractions have limits
RIP
2016-2020
Serverless Everything
"Never think about servers again"
Reality: Now you think about 47 different services
💡 Lesson: Complexity doesn't disappear, it moves
RIP
2015-2019
Microservices Mania
"Infinite scalability"
Reality: Distributed monolith nightmare
💡 Lesson: Start with monolith, split when needed
RIP
2023-2024
LLM Wrapper Startups
"We're an AI company"
Reality: $200M valuation for a ChatGPT API call
💡 Lesson: APIs aren't moats

📊 Graveyard Statistics

$847B
Total VC Money Burned
∞
Promises Broken
0
Developers Surprised

🎭 Venture Capital Mad Libs

Generate realistic but absurd startup pitches using our patented BS-generation algorithm. Guaranteed to sound like real Silicon Valley pitches.

Click "Generate Pitch" to create your venture capital masterpiece...

🎪 Recent Masterpieces

🗣️ The BS Translator

Real-time translation of common tech industry bullshit into actual English. Updated daily with fresh nonsense from LinkedIn and tech conferences.

"Leveraging synergies"
→
"Using things together"
"Paradigm shift"
→
"We're doing it differently"
"Revolutionary AI platform"
→
"We call ChatGPT's API"
"Disruptive innovation"
→
"Cheaper version of existing thing"
"Enterprise-grade solution"
→
"We added SSO and 2FA"
"Democratizing access"
→
"Making it cheaper"
"Optimizing workflows"
→
"Automating boring stuff"
"Next-generation architecture"
→
"We used Docker"

🔍 Submit New BS for Translation

📜 The Truth Manifesto

My commitment to building honest technology that actually solves problems instead of chasing hype cycles.

01

I will not call basic API integrations "AI solutions"

If your entire "AI platform" is a ChatGPT wrapper with a markup, I'll call it what it is. Real AI solutions require understanding the problem, training data, and meaningful model improvements.

02

I will solve actual problems, not invented ones

Before building anything, I ask: "Does this solve a real problem people actually have?" Not "Does this use the latest buzzword technology?" The world has enough solutions looking for problems.

03

I will choose boring technology when it works

PostgreSQL beats your blockchain database. REST APIs beat your GraphQL-over-gRPC-via-serverless architecture. Simple, proven solutions trump clever complexity every time.

04

I will measure success by user value, not VC interest

Success metrics: Does it work? Do people use it? Does it solve their problem? Not: How many buzzwords in the pitch? How disruptive does it sound? How big is the addressable market?

05

I will write code that future humans can read

Clean, documented, maintainable code beats clever one-liners that require a PhD to understand. The next developer (often future me) will thank me for explaining what this regex actually does.

06

I will call out BS when I see it

When someone claims their CRUD app "leverages synergistic AI paradigms," I'll suggest they explain it in English. Our industry drowns in buzzwords when what we need is clarity and honesty.

Kurt Overmier
Professional BS Translator & Honest Developer
Written in 2025, valid until the industry learns to speak human

🤝 Ready for Honest Technology?

Tired of "revolutionary AI-powered solutions"? Let's build something that actually works. No buzzwords required, results guaranteed.

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